


The Temporal Relocation Contingency

by debirlfan



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Darkest Night, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 16:05:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8167846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/debirlfan/pseuds/debirlfan
Summary: A funny thing happened on the way to the train store.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [garnet_dragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/garnet_dragon/gifts).



**\--Blink--**

Penny recovered faster than he did. “ **Sheldon! What Did You Do**?” she demanded angrily, the momentary hitch in her voice emphasizing each word.

“I'm...not sure.” His answer was so quiet she barely caught it. If she was any judge, he sounded chagrined and perhaps a little worried.

While he fully deserved the former, the latter made her even more nervous. “Sheldon!”

“You bumped my hand!” A note of hysteria started to creep into his voice. “I was setting the controls, and you bumped my hand!”

“I did no such thing.” She wasn't about to let him blame this on her. “Where are we?”

They had been at Caltech, in one of the labs. She had gone there to pick him up to take him to the train store, of all places. But now, they stood in the middle of what appeared to be a rain forest. Warm, muggy, damp and overgrown with plants. It definitely wasn't Caltech, and she wasn't certain if it was even California.

“Laurasia. However the more important question isn't where. The question is when.”

“What do you mean, when? And I've never heard of Laurasia. Is that east of Glendora?”

Sheldon gave her the look that he always gave her whenever he thought she was being deliberately obtuse. “Laurasia is the northern land mass that existed after Pangaea broke up but before the continents split apart. And while I'm no expert on botany, from the flora and the environmental conditions, I'd guess that we're probably somewhere in the Jurassic period.”

“The Jurassic...? You mean like in the movies? I'm about to be a mid-day snack for some hungry dinosaur?” She was about to become as hysterical as he was.

“Unlikely. Most of the dinosaurs during the Jurassic were herbivores--plant eaters,” he elaborated, seeing her confusion. “Being accidentally stepped on by a Brachiosaurus would be much more likely.”

“You really think that's making me feel better?” Penny looked around, spotting a large boulder. She grabbed Sheldon by the arm and tugged him toward it. “Come on, this will give us some protection.”

She pulled him down to sit beside her, ignoring the way he scowled as he lowered himself onto the damp ground. Once they were snugged up against the side of the rock, hopefully out of reach of any errant footfalls, she turned on Sheldon. “How did we get to the Jurassic period?”

“I can't tell you that. It's classified.”

“Like hell! If I'm going to get squished by a Brachiowhatever then at least I'm going to know how I got here!”

Sheldon sighed. “Very well. I suppose I owe you that. Raj and I have been working on a time machine.”

“You mean a real time machine? Not like that overgrown toy that Leonard bought off Ebay?” _She wouldn't have believed it, but hey...Jurassic period._

“Yes, a real time machine. But it's classified. You can't tell anyone.”

“Who am I going to tell, a dinosaur? So why were you messing with it when I came in to pick you up?”

“Because you were late. Like usual. I was going to miss at least the first fifteen minutes of the Lionel Model Railroader's club meeting. I thought I could just move us back half an hour and we'd have plenty of time to get there. But you bumped my hand.”

“Did not,” Penny insisted. “So how do we get back to our time?” She had a horrible thought. “ _Can_ we get back to our time?”

“There's a recall button on the machine. As soon as Raj sees that it's running, he'll hit the recall.”

Penny sighed in relief, until something occurred to her. “Wait a minute. Raj wasn't there when I picked you up?”

Sheldon shook his head. “No, he'd gone to get dinner. I'm sure he'll find it when he returns.”

“Does that mean we're stuck here until Raj finishes eating?”

“Most likely, unless perhaps the janitor--” his words were cut off by a loud inhuman shriek, somewhere in the distance. The sound cut off abruptly. “My, that's a bit worrisome.” Sheldon's face had gone pale.

“I thought you said the dinosaurs here were vegetarians? That didn't sound like a plant being eaten.”

“I said most.”

“Shit. Do you think we're safe here?”

“Given that I'm not an expert on the dining habits of the Ceratosaurus, I can only assume that we're as safe here as anywhere. Many of the meat-eating dinosaurs had short upper limbs. This rock would seem to make us somewhat difficult to reach.”

That wasn't particularly reassuring, but on the other hand, she didn't really want to go looking for a cave or something to wait in, either. _Especially since it might already be occupied._ Instead, she settled herself in to wait, tucking her feet in, and leaning her shoulder companionably against Sheldon's. “I skipped lunch. I'm hungry,” she grumbled, more because she was annoyed and grumpy than because she'd missed a meal.

“I wouldn't advise eating or drinking anything. We have no idea what might be poisonous, or what pathogens might be in the water. If there was any way to avoid it, I wouldn't even touch anything or breath the air, but sadly that's not an option.”

“Great, if I don't get eaten, I'm likely to get some sort of dinosaur plague.” _This day was just getting better and better._ Something else occurred to her. “Hey, we're not going to change the past and delete ourselves out of existence, are we? I remember a story about someone going into the past and stepping on a butterfly and screwing everything up.” It had been a long time ago, but reading the story was one of the rare pieces of homework she'd actually completed.

“Unlikely. The research we've done to date suggests that the Novikov self-consistency principle holds true.”

She scrunched up her nose. “The what?”

He seemed to take pity on her. “Essentially the principle states that the past is self-healing and you can't make significant changes.”

“Oh, that's a relief.” She leaned over a plucked a flower from a plant growing beside her. It looked a little like a greenish daisy with a second layer of petals. “So picking this isn't going the change the results of the last election or anything, then.”

Sheldon frowned at her. “From the limited testing we've done, no. I'd be more concerned with the possibility that the sap might be an irritant, or worse.”

She'd forgotten about that. _Oops._ Penny tossed the flower away from her. “So, have you been here before? The Jurassic, I mean?”

“No. We've been gradually traveling back further with each trip. This is by far the furthest.”

“How far back have—had—you been?”

“1875.”

“Wow. So this really ups the ante, then.”

“You hit my hand,” Sheldon reminded her.

She was about to deny it when there was another loud shriek, this one sounding relatively nearby. Penny tried to wedge herself even closer to the boulder. “Damn, I wish Raj would hurry.”

**\--Blink--**

The support of the stone behind her abruptly gone, Penny found herself unceremoniously sprawled across both Sheldon and the lab floor. She pushed herself off of him so that she could sit up. As she did, she saw the look of horror that came across his face.

“Sheldon?”

Not getting an answer, she twisted to follow the line of his gaze.

The form standing behind her at the controls of the time machine was wearing a jacket over a sweater vest, the fashion sense or lack of it was unmistakable, but the form was reptilian.

“Raj?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

“Why were you two playing with the time machine?” The voice was nearly the same, accent only enhanced as it filtered through those sharp, fang-like teeth.

_Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit._


End file.
